Sarcastic Enuff

"Don't Make A Fool Outta Me!"

2006-07-16T15:29:00.000-05:00

"Gettin' real tired of u duckin' me..."

"Where's my money?!"

Umm...

2006-07-13T19:15:00.000-05:00

[Peter Griffin] Yeaaaah!!! [/Peter Griffin]

Snap Yo Fingers!

2006-06-12T03:05:00.000-05:00

"Yeaaaaahh!!!"

Meet Me in the Traaaaaap...

2006-05-04T23:21:00.000-05:00

...It's Goin' Dooooown!

Damita No!

2006-05-04T20:50:00.000-05:00

So Damita Jo's been in the news this week, due to the countdown to a big surprise on her offical website. Apparently Janet missed out on a lot suprises during her busy life, cuz there is no way she could've thought the song she put on her site was a good thing. "Weekend" is the title. I think "Whenisthisgonend" is better. Her fans attacked her for putting up that crap, so it was taken down from her site and Janet put up the news that it wasn't a single and was only a gift to her fans. Hahahahaaa, riiiight. She thought that crap sounded good and was trying to see what others thought. Hopefully she got the meesage. No more weekends for u Ms. Jackson. Here is Janet's reaction to her fans as she leaves Dr. 90210's office.

Ah, rope burn.

Can We Catch A Break?

2006-04-08T13:44:00.000-05:00

The weather around here has been crazy. If u've been keeping up with the news this week, I'm sure u've heard about all the tornados in Tennessee. I've been dodging them all week long. Fortunately I've been lucky enough not to experience any tornados, but over 30 people have lost their lives this week alone. Be thankful u don't have to deal with this. Ugh, spring sucks.

Cut the Card...

2006-03-28T01:15:00.000-06:00

Yea, I was using it like I actually had some money. Fuck you, Visa.

I Wanna Give A Shout Out...

2006-03-09T22:36:00.000-06:00

I wanna give a shout out to my Sociology professor. Chick gave me a 'C' on my paper when she knows it was worthy of an 'A.' She ain't worth shit.

I wanna give a shout out to the power company for taking five hours to turn the power back on after today's thunderstorms. Yall ain't worth shit.

I wanna give a shout out to the old lady that was driving 45 mph, while the speed limit was 65. She ain't worth shit.

I wanna give a shout out to the cashier @ Burger King for fucking up my order...twice. He ain't worth shit.

I wanna give a shout to the bad ass kids who consider the driveway their personal playground. They don't know it, but I will run one of them over. They ain't worth shit.

I wanna give a shout out to the homeless man who got mad @ me b/c I wouldn't give him money to purchase more beer. He ain't worth shit.

I wanna give a shout out to all the futuer shitless people I'm more than likely gonna run into. Fuck u in advance.

Guess Who's Back?!

2006-03-02T00:38:00.000-06:00

It's been a loooong time since I've been around these parts of the net. I know, I know. I ain't been in the mood to laugh @ stupid people's randomness. I qot problems of my own to handle. I'on like being a grown up @ all. I thought I'd blog before Amber had a heart attack. She's been fiending for some updates around here. Hahahaaa.

Ah, So what's been up with me? Shit, a lot actually. Just a few more weeks of school left and yes I'm crossing out the days on my calendar.

I'm broke. That means I'ma have to go back to pimpin'. Maybe I'll get an Oscar nomination or @least a song on my soundtrack could be nominated. We all know it's hard out there for pimps and all.

Make sure yall catch Three 6 on the Oscars. "Whoop That Trick" yea, that's quality.

Well I'm just rambling now, so I'll end this now. lol

Why?!?!

2006-01-27T19:33:00.000-06:00

This is wrong on 50-leven levels. :(

Is It Still Ms. Jackson, If We're Nasty...and Hungry?

2006-01-18T01:55:00.000-06:00

This is so wrong, yet I can't stop laughing.

She prolly ate Reebie & Tito for breakfast.

So There Is More Than 'One In A Million'...

2006-01-03T18:21:00.000-06:00

Didn't quite pull off Janet @ the Billboard Music Awards, but she's no quitter. She lives by the motto of 'Dust urself off and try again.'

See What Online Dating Gets U...

2005-12-31T16:54:00.000-06:00

By Grace Green

MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!

"I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would.

"But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "

Read more here.

This is soooo hilariously sad on soooo many levels

Look Who's Blogging...

2005-12-22T00:22:00.000-06:00

Yea, I know it's been a while. I think the last time I updated around here was when Foxy Brown had an album on the charts. I'd liked to apologize to my devoted following (yes, all negative three of you). A brotha's been busy finishing up school. I have just one semester to go until I'm a college graduate. I can't believe it's so close. But I'm not complaining whatsoever. I'm so tired of school. I've been going all my life. I need a break. Unfortunatly real life awaits. Being grown sucks.

I did make time to fall victim to the 'I'm Srpung' bug that's going around. Yea, a very fortunate lady has claimed me. Ha, ha. And I promise that when I sing "I'm Sprung," that I sound just as horrible as T-Pain. She's got me doing the dishes... Yea, really badly.

It's a few days before Christmas, so I'd like to wish all of u a Merry Christmas. And a Happy 2006.

I'll prolly update again when Foxy drops her next album. Yea, it'll be that long.

I Have Windows '78...

2005-10-25T00:16:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I made an entry around these parts. Well that's all for three reasons. One, I'on have a damn thing to talk about. Two, I seem to be enjoying my life offline, who would've known? ha. And three, it seems that I caught a case of Windows '78 from Irish. My PC has been tripping for a few days. I knew Irish would give me her Net disease. :/

U Got A Problem?!

2005-10-09T22:33:00.000-05:00

"Da fuck u looking @?!" - L. Boogie

Need a little dry humor?

2005-10-03T19:00:00.000-05:00

A priest was taking a shower when he realized that there's no soap handy. He remembered he'd bought soap the other day, but had left it in his room. Without bothering to dress or wrap a towel around him, he ran down the hall to his bedroom and grabbed two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the shower.

Halfway down the hall, he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the hall and freezes, trying to look like a statue. The nuns stop and comment how lifelike he looks. The first nun reaches out and pulls on his manhood. The man is so startled that he drops one of the bars of soap he's carrying.

"Oh look," said the first nun, "It's a soap dispenser." To test her theory, the second nun pulls on his member and sure enough, the priest drops the other bar of soap.

The third nun pulls on his manhood once, but nothing happens. She pulls a second time, still nothing. Then she pulls a few more times and as the other nuns start walking away, they hear her exclaim, "Hey look! Hand lotion!"

Ha, ha

Umm...

2005-09-25T01:07:00.000-05:00

Wow!

:/

Alba's Showing The Goodies

2005-09-19T21:24:00.000-05:00

The Irony

2005-09-19T17:56:00.000-05:00

FIFE - A thief went after a precious metal and paid for it with his life. It was copper electrical wire in a live high voltage power line.

Fife police say two men came out in the dead of night armed with a rope. They thought they would just toss the line over the wire and pull it down.

But before that could happen electricity came down the rope, electrocuted one and burned the other. A staggering 55,000 volts came down the rope passed through their hands into their bodies and out their feet.

Julian LaPointe, 22, of Tacoma was killed.

Gotta Potty, Why Wait?

2005-09-14T23:38:00.000-05:00

U.S. President George W. Bush writes a note to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a Security Council meeting at the 2005 World Summit and 60th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York September 14, 2005. World leaders are exploring ways to revitalize the United Nations at a summit on Wednesday but their blueprint falls short of Secretary-General Kofi Annan's vision of freedom from want, persecution and war.

Link

Me Know Dem A Wicked...

2005-09-10T16:40:00.000-05:00

"Mark Of Da Beast!"

If u watched the BET telethon that aired last night, u know what this about.

The 'Other' Looters

2005-09-05T23:07:00.000-05:00

Help with Post Hurricane Aid and Get A T-Shirt

2005-09-04T17:39:00.000-05:00

Hurricane Katrina has wreaked havoc on the Gulf Coast and caused tremendous problems in New Orleans, LA. In efforts to help aid the residents of New Orleans, LA, proceeds will be donated to Master P's Team Rescue.

Click Here

The 10 Stupidest Quotes About Hurrican Katrina

2005-09-04T16:50:00.000-05:00

10 Mind-Numbingly Stupid Quotes About Hurricane Katrina And Its Aftermath

10) "Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well." --FEMA Director Michael Brown, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

9) "I have not heard a report of thousands of people in the convention center who don't have food and water." –Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, on NPR's "All Things Considered," Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

8) "...those who are stranded, who chose not to evacuate, who chose not to leave the city..." –FEMA Director Michael Brown, on New Orleans residents who could not evacuate because they were too poor and lacked the means to leave, CNN interview, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

7) "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." –President Bush, to FEMA director Michael Brown, while touring Hurricane-ravaged Mississippi, Sept. 2, 2005

6) "Last night, we showed you the full force of a superpower government going to the rescue." –MSNBC's Chris Matthews, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

5) "You simply get chills every time you see these poor individuals...many of these people, almost all of them that we see are so poor and they are so black , and this is going to raise lots of questions for people who are watching this story unfold." --CNN's Wolf Blitzer, on New Orleans' hurricane refugees, Sept. 1, 2005 (Source)

4) "It makes no sense to spend billions of dollars to rebuild a city that's seven feet under sea level....It looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed." –House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), Aug. 31, 2005 (Source)

3) "We've got a lot of rebuilding to do ... The good news is — and it's hard for some to see it now — that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house — he's lost his entire house — there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch." (Laughter) —President Bush, touring hurricane damage, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005 (Source)

2) "Thank President Clinton and former President Bush for their strong statements of support and comfort today. I thank all the leaders that are coming to Louisiana, and Mississippi and Alabama to our help and rescue. We are grateful for the military assets that are being brought to bear. I want to thank Senator Frist and Senator Reid for their extraordinary efforts. Anderson, tonight, I don't know if you've heard – maybe you all have announced it -- but Congress is going to an unprecedented session to pass a $10 billion supplemental bill tonight to keep FEMA and the Red Cross up and operating." –Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA), to CNN's Anderson Cooper, Aug. 31, 2005, to which Cooper responded:

"I haven't heard that, because, for the last four days, I've been seeing dead bodies in the streets here in Mississippi. And to listen to politicians thanking each other and complimenting each other, you know, I got to tell you, there are a lot of people here who are very upset, and very angry, and very frustrated. And when they hear politicians slap – you know, thanking one another, it just, you know, it kind of cuts them the wrong way right now, because literally there was a body on the streets of this town yesterday being eaten by rats because this woman had been laying in the street for 48 hours. And there's not enough facilities to take her up. Do you get the anger that is out here?" (Source)

1) "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." –President Bush, on "Good Morning America," Sept. 1, 2005, six days after repeated warnings from experts about the scope of damage expected from Hurricane Katrina (Source)

Link

Kanye: Unscripted

2005-09-02T23:09:00.000-05:00

During NBC's broadcast of the telethon to rasie money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina, Kanye West decided not to read the scripted material he'd been given. Instead he chose to speak his mind, not surpised are u? I'm glad he spoke his mind too. He spoke for most of the people who can't have their voices heard. Check out the link below for a small clip of the video before he was cut off by NBC.

Click Here.

*Bumping "We Major"*

This Pic is No Joke.

2005-09-01T22:41:00.000-05:00

Need Ad Space?

2005-09-01T00:10:00.000-05:00

We Got Something In Common...

2005-08-31T22:23:00.000-05:00

LMAO!!!

That's Racist!

2005-08-31T21:06:00.000-05:00

Yes, racism still exisits even through tragedy.

The Aftermath

2005-08-31T01:15:00.000-05:00

I can't even begin to describe how sad this entire situation is. I feel for all the people going through this right now. I just can't imagine how I would react if I were in anything similar.

Get Me A Stool

2005-08-29T01:33:00.000-05:00

On ur tip-toes and she still has inches on ya...Hahahaha!!!

Scientists Develop Pee-powered Battery

2005-08-25T21:48:00.000-05:00

Scientists have developed a way to turn pee into electricity. And there's plenty where that came from, they point out.

Cheap, disposable, and renewable, urine-powered batteries may be the perfect power source for disposable healthcare test kits called biochips, the researchers say.

"We are striving to develop cheap, disposable credit card-sized biochips for disease detection," said battery developer Ki Bang Lee. "Our battery can be easily integrated into such devices, supplying electricity upon contact with biofluids such as urine."

Read more here.

I hear R. Kelly is excited about this news. No more electricity bills for him.

Think He'll Steal Again?

2005-08-25T00:57:00.000-05:00

It's That Time Of The Year...

2005-08-21T19:55:00.000-05:00

Classes begin tomorrow.

Is Jay-Z Your Father?

2005-08-19T03:03:00.000-05:00

Would The Real "Superhead" Please Stand Up?

2005-08-17T02:44:00.000-05:00

There's an imposter going around claiming to be 'Superhead', but I bet her 'shit' isn't bananas like Pepa's. She's talented.

Log Off Sometimes

2005-08-16T17:34:00.000-05:00

SEOUL, South Korea - A South Korean man who played computer games for 50 hours almost non-stop died of heart failure minutes after finishing his mammoth session in an Internet cafe, authorities said on Tuesday.

The 28-year-old man, identified only by his family name Lee, had been playing online battle simulation games at the cybercafe in the southeastern city of Taegu, police said.

Lee had planted himself in front of a computer monitor to play online games on Aug. 3. He only left the spot over the next three days to go to the toilet and take brief naps on a makeshift bed, they said.

Read more here

Log off sometimes. It's ok...really, it is.

"Don't Be Hatin'"

2005-08-11T20:20:00.000-05:00

Let me find out there's a sequel to Malibu's Most Wanted...

They Put Us On The Map... :/

2005-08-11T03:10:00.000-05:00

COLUMBUS, Ohio - A fugitive inmate and his wife, wanted in a brazen courthouse escape and shooting in Tennessee, were captured Wednesday night at an Ohio motel after a tip from a cab driver who had dropped them off, authorities said.

George Hyatte and Jennifer Forsyth Hyatte were in a room at an America's Best Value Inn in Columbus and were arrested without a struggle, said Mark Gwyn, director of the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation.

Read more here.

Where's Page 10?

2005-08-11T02:37:00.000-05:00

Pirro at the Podium: Does Anyone Have Page 10?
Hillary opponent has rocky voyage into primetime

by Kristen Lombardi
August 10th, 2005 4:43 PM

On Wednesday morning, Jeanine Pirro, the Westchester district attorney, made it official: She’s planning a bid to take on Senator Hillary Clinton next year.

The high-profile prosecutor had picked a posh conference room at the Waldorf-Astoria, in Manhattan, to make the first of three scheduled appearances declaring her candidacy for the U.S. Senate. A throng of reporters, photographers, and television crews gathered for the staged debut of the hot, new GOP challenger.

Standing at the podium, before a blue banner that read JEANINE PIRRO, the experienced campaigner played the part well, instantly reinforcing her reputation as sharp, articulate, with-it politician—at least, initially. Smiling under the camera lights, Pirro launched into her stump speech with aplomb, calling herself a “fighter, an advocate, and an agent for change.” She stressed her 30-year career in office, and her moderate views. She laid out her positions on controversial issues (“I support making President Bush’s tax cuts permanent. But I also support the right of a woman to choose. . . . I believe in immigration. . . . But I also believe in the Patriot Act.”) Building momentum, she took aim at her opponent, someone who “has shortchanged New York” and who “hasn’t delivered.”

“But I am not Hillary Clinton,” Pirro declared, pausing for effect. She segued flawlessly from the type of security she’s fought for at home to the types she’ll fight for on Capitol Hill–not just national security, but Social Security, medical security, economic security. “You will know where I stand on the issues,” Pirro trumpeted, staring at a fixed spot in the back of the room.

“Hillary Clinton,” she continued, and looked down at her notes. She then paused, mid-sentence, and said nothing. She shuffled through her notes, as seconds passed. Reporters shifted in their seats. Photographers flashed their cameras.

Then, in a muffled voice, Pirro asked her staffers, “Do you have page 10?”

Welcome, Ms. Pirro, to prime time.

I'm over here crying tears of laughter.

And People Say She's Selfish.

2005-08-11T01:58:00.000-05:00

Apparently the end of Destiny's Child is becoming too much for Beyonce. She can't even bring herself to eat anything.

Hahahahaa!!!

The sad part about this pic is it's actually Michelle's body. Feed her please. The big ass bodyguard doesn't help either.

Some Helpful Advice

2005-08-07T19:28:00.000-05:00

Don't drink alcohol, especially Grey Goose mixed with Ocean Spray cranberry juice. It can lead to massive headaches and nausea.

Just a lil advice.

Martha is Gangsta

2005-08-04T02:58:00.000-05:00

"Apparently, Martha Stewart just couldn't resist the call of a yoga class.

The design guru, who was slated to take off her ankle bracelet for good next week, violated the terms of her sentence by attending a yoga studio near her estate, according to reports.

Stewart must now serve an additional three weeks of home confinement as a result of attempting to dupe authorities."

Read more here.

Is it August Already?

2005-08-01T23:49:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that the summer is almost over. This year is going by so fast. I remember kickin' it on New Year's and here it is over half a year later already. I haven't done much this summer compared to previous summers. I usually go on some vacation outside the state. I did go to the Vibefest in Atlanta back in June, but that wasn't really a vacation, considering I was going to see my Pops as well.

I've been working and chillin for the most part. I hate the hot ass weather, so that's one good thing about the summer coming to an end. I'm not one for the 90 degree tempatures.

One other thing I noticed this summer was the lack of good music. I haven't been interested in any of the new artists coming out lately. It's the same shit, different toilet. <---[TAJ, that never gets old...hahaha @ "TAJ." She's gon' kick my ass when she reads this] But yea, like I was saying, there hasn't been a summer anthem or anything. Where is this year's "Lean Back?" I mean we got pre teen chicks like Teirieieire Mari talking about what she needs a 'nigga' to do for her. I really don't like that song, but what else should we expect for the likes of Def Scam? Music sucks right now.

There haven't been any decent tours either. I had fun @ the Vibefest, even though there were like five people in attendence the entire weekend. Ha. Beyonce and her two friends came through here last month, but I ain't wanna see them, not to mention the tickets to their show were extremely expensive, which is funny since they were struggling to sell tickets overall. I just can't picture myself going to an Eminem/50 Cent concert, so that's outta the question. I'm going to see John Legend and Lyfe on Thursday. I'm mad that they are performing @ Riverfront, which is outside. I know it's @ night, but it'll still be in the 80's during that time. Can yall tell I don't like the heat? I'on wanna see Lyfe because he irks me, so we'll arrive late. lol

Classes start in a few weeks. Yea, that sucks. But it's my last two semesters...hopefully.

Dubya Delivers...

2005-07-28T01:19:00.000-05:00

"I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend." —On the prospect of visiting Denmark, Washington D.C., June 29, 2005

Ahahahahaaa!!! 2

2005-07-28T00:13:00.000-05:00

Free At Last!!!

2005-07-23T18:08:00.000-05:00

*Click pic to enlarge.

A few photos of 106 & Park co-host Free. I mean DAMN. Have u ever seen a 70 year old chick look this good?!? I didn't think so. Thank U Kang!

Will This Day Ever End?

2005-07-20T22:42:00.000-05:00

It's been a long, tiring, never ending day. It seems like I've been up for days. I recently started working again, and the adjustment to waking up with the sun is kicking my ass. I couldn't find my keys this morning, so I had to get a ride to work with my sister, and she was acting foul as usual. It's not like we don't work at the same place or anything. I ain't have a good lunch because I couldn't go out and get anything, so I had to eat at that nasty cafeteria in the building. What a waste of $6.

And the weather is just unbearable. I mean really, what's up with these near 100 degree temperatures? I really hate the summer.

When I got home I received a letter in the mail, stating that my financial aid needs to be reevaluated. They do this every damn year. Can't they see a brotha is trying to get a higher education? Always some paper work drama.

It's a official, I have a another stalker. Why do I always get with these 'Fatal Attraction' chicks? She calls all day, every day. She rolls by the crib on some "waste her gas" bullshit. And now showing up at my job? Da hell wrong with this chick?

Preparing to file a restraining order. :/

Ahahahahaaa!!!

2005-07-18T00:18:00.000-05:00

Why is the Hole Really that Small?!

2005-07-15T00:56:00.000-05:00

The stupid shit that happens throughout the day never ceases to amaze me. I actually attempted to put the straw in the hole of a Capri Sun for @least 20 minutes. When I finally got the straw in the hole, the juice was damn near room temperature and not even worth it. Fighting to get the straw in the hole brought back memories of the day I lost my virginity. Oh, was I the inexperienced one. Damn that Capri Sun. I should be drinking water anyway.

The Fantastic...One!

2005-07-11T17:05:00.000-05:00

Eight days past the 4th and mofos are still getting their Independence Day on. I know one's gonna burn their hand off or something. Bastards.

I saw Fantastic Four this past weekend. It was a decent movie, I guess. I never really followed the comic as a kid. I'ma X-Men fan @ heart. The fantastic crew always seemed corny to me. But the casting crew must have really wanted me to get into this movie, because they cast one of my favorite eye-candy honeys.

Yep, that's right, the one and only Jessica Alba. I've been in love with her every since I saw that supidly funny movie Idle Hands. If you've never saw it, I'd advise you to rent the DVD. But it was Dark Angel that made me become an Alba stan. I can't believe Fox fucked up that show. Dumbasses. But uhh, yea The Invisible Woman and her friends turned out a decent movie and it did well @ the box office...And we all know what that means. Sequel. More Alba. The good life.

I wanna say a STFU in advance to those of you who have some slick shit to say about Alba. Yall know who you are. I know yall will say it anyway. Bastards.

Damn Fireworks

2005-07-03T23:32:00.000-05:00

I think I'm becoming an old head. Why, you ask? I remember what it was like this time of the year when I was younger. I couldn't wait to spend all the money I had on fireworks. I used to get everything too. My friends and I would have bottle rocket wars until someone started crying because they were hit by one. Punk ass. lol.

My how times have changed. If the little rugrats across the street don't quit with the fireworks, there might be a news crew here to report on the latest black on black crime. I mean these heathens have been shooting fireworks all week long, non stop. How can they afford all those fireworks? I mean damn, they aren't cheap. The sad part is it isn't even the fourth yet. I can imagine what it's gonna be like tomorrow. I don't have a problem with anyone shooting fireworks, but these bastards have been shooting them every minute of the hour. I might "accidentally" fire one at them. Would that be mean? Ha.

In other unrelated news, the music industry lost one of it's greatest voices this past Friday. May Luther Vandross rest in peace.

I'll post a few of the lyrics to my favorite song by Luther.

Love has truly been good to me
Not even one sad day
Or minute have I had since you've come my way
I hope you know I'd gladly go
Anywhere you'd take me

It's so amazing to be loved
I'd follow you to the moon in the sky above
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, I'd go

Got to tell you how you thrill me
I'm happy as I can be
You have come and it's changed my whole world
Bye-bye sadness, hello mellow
What a wonderful day

The New Edition of The Kang!

2005-07-01T00:52:00.000-05:00

It's a late Thursday night and like most of you all, I just watched Bobby Brown's reality show Being Bobby Brown. When I first heard that Bobby was getting his own reality show, I was thinking to myself, would cameras be allowed in whatever jail cell he was occupying? Yes, we all know the 'Kang' is synonymous with the Fulton County court system. Nonetheless, if the Osbournes can get a reality show, why not the Browns? At least we'll be able to understand these crackheads.

As I prepared to watch the first episode, the thought of Whitney being the star of this show never dawned on me. Saying Whitney is Being Bobby Brown would be a huge understatement. Hell, even Bobby addressed himself as 'Bobby, Whitney Houston's husband' numerous times throughout the show. I don't know why I didn't pick up on the fact that Whitney would be the star of this show. How could I forget she is the lady who delivered such classic one liners like "Crack is Wack", the oh so infamous "Bobbaaaay" and the biggest one to date "Bobby Brown is the Kang of R&B." She didn't disappoint tonight either. From the "Beyonce" tee to the slight diss to Whoopi Goldberg, Whitney kept me laughing for both half hour episodes. Who woulda thought the white-washed black girl, with the bouncy blonde wigs and extraordinary vocals some odd number of years ago would be the still wig friendly (albeit jacked up) sometimes crackhead, not so extraordinary vocalist she is today? Whitney is truly a comedian. And what makes it even better is the fact that it's real...She wasn't playing up for the cameras. It's kind of ironic that the show is titled after Bobby, when it's clear that Whitney is the star of this show.

Even though my intent for watching the show was to get my laugh on, I actually noticed that the Browns are indeed a family. Yea, I know they are crazy, but what family isn't? How many wives out there can say their husband helped them through a difficult bowel movement? How many wives put lotion on their husband's crust filled feet? That's love. Crack...I mean Black love. Whitney and Bobby are infact in love...crazy in love. I guess the Beyonce tee held more relevance than first thought. Ha.

I can't wait to watch next week's episode. If only Deborah Wilson was still on Madd TV, I'm sure she would have a field day with this show.

Killing My Eardrums...But Not So Softly

2005-06-29T16:51:00.000-05:00

"Lauryn Hill looks like Stevie Wonder wrapped BET a 25th birthday gift." - Random Internet Personality

All For Some Trading Cards...

2005-06-26T23:18:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was one of the craziest days I've lived through, but I don't even want to relive the bullshit that transpired, so I'll discuss the bullshit that took place earlier today.

Anyone who knows me, knows how much I hate going to Wal-Mart. I absolutely try to limit the amount of time I have to go there as much as possible. I hate it. But of course today was one of those days I had to make a stop in that Hell hole. I had to pick up my toiletries.

So, after getting the few items I came for, I remembered that I told my nephew I would get him some Spiderman trading cards. So I made my way to the toy isle and eventually found the card section. As I was searching through the cards, I noticed this little girl looking @ this bike that was on display. She eventually got onto the bike and I was thinking in my head "This bad ass child." So, she takes off down the isle on the left of me and comes around the corner and back down the isle full speed right in my direction. In order to get out of her way and not get hit with the bike, I dropped all the shit in my hands, including my lotion, which spilled all over the floor.

So, obviously I'm pissed. One of the workers saw the entire incident take place and was looking @ me like the child was mine. So I had to let her old ass know that bad ass child was not mine, nor was she with me. The child's chicken head mother(with two other children attached to her hip and leg)came to the scene with a "What happened?" And I said "U obviously wasn't doing ur job as a parent." And she swung her weave outta her face with extreme attitude and began to say some smart shit, but I had gathered my shit and left her and the worker to sort the shit out themselves.

And after all that bullshit I still didn't find the cards. This only gave me even more reason to hate Wal-Mart. And insure the fact that I don't like kids or baby mamas for that matter.

How To Keep A Flat Tummy

2005-06-23T04:02:00.000-05:00

A little boy walks into his parents room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen, dress's quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well, your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time." says the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled? "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up!"

I saw this on a message board, and I laughed for about ten mintues. I'm not really sure why, b/c I've read something similar to this before, but still it was really funny this time.

Sperm Donor's Day

2005-06-19T16:24:00.000-05:00

Today is Father's Day....and who really cares, right? I have no kids(wipes forehead) and I don't really care for my father, so this Sunday is no different than any other. And that means new episodes of The 4400 and of, course The Family Guy. I'd like to wish my Moms a Happy Father's Day while I'm typing. And it's still hot as hell.

I'm Hot, Shit!

2005-06-18T16:25:00.000-05:00

Man, I really dislike the summer weather. The tempture is bad, but what makes things even worse is the fuckin' humidity. Soon as u step one foot out the door, sweat is running down ur head. Ugh! I can't wait 'til the Fall.

The 10 Doves...

2005-06-14T16:53:00.000-05:00

Well it's been almost 24 hours since Michael Jackson was aquitted. Of couse all the MJ stans are screamin' "I knew it." or "I told yall." Those fuckas are lying. They were nervous as hell. They didn't have a clue what the verdict would be. Nonetheless, I really didn't care either way. When someone asks me what I remember most about the day Mike was found not guilty, this picture will still be in my memory...

Watching this woman release a dove after each "Not Guilty" was said for all 10 counts was hilarious. Not only did she release the doves but she kissed them, while struggling to close the cage so none of the other birds could escape before being released. I was crackin' up.

Sarcasm

2005-06-14T04:53:00.000-05:00

Is there such a thing as being too sarcastic? I was talking to a friend of mine today and she said that I was always being sarcastic. Now I know I'm sarcastic @ times, but some people mistake my "realness" as sarcasm. It's not my fault u can't tell the difference. It's not that hard to comprehend which is which. Oh well, I guess I'm being sarcastic right now. Ha!